With mother's day right around the corner, my thoughts have been consumed with what it will be like to have children someday. This generally is something I think about at least once a day. But now, I think about it at least twice a day. ;)
I have always known I wanted to be a mother. Some of my favorite stories are ones like
Cheaper By The Dozen or
Room For One More where "organized chaos" ensues and homes are filled with laughter, children, and pets. I relish being surrounded by my family, just soaking up the acceptance and love. I have dreams of passing that on to my own children someday. I am blessed to have found a spouse who wants the same things for our children. We may not agree on
how many we are going to have, but we at least know we want to raise children that love God, their fellow humans, and animals (I added the animals one in there. I'm sure Guy would agree.).
I
cannot wait to start a family. Getting to hold my own child for the first time, giving them a name chosen specifically for them, and having the privilege of raising and loving them overwhelms me at times. I feel as if it goes beyond just
wanting to be a mother. I feel called. And I know not all women are. Guy and I have found wonderful mentors in a couple that has chosen not to have children. I do not see them as "lacking" anything and neither do they feel that way (to my knowledge).
As these thoughts has swirled around in my head over the years, I have many times told myself that I should not be feeling this way. First off, I
just turned 23, I have yet to finish graduate school, and am up to my ears in loan debt. I should want to enjoy the freedom of being a young married woman. Why would I want children to "tie me down"? I should not look forward to being a new mother because I hear that you rarely get sleep, or time to yourself. Babies cry, and need your attention constantly and not much changes as they grow up. Children are so
inconvenient. Unknowingly, I had accepted our society's view of motherhood, especially the view of becoming a mother as a young woman.
Almost two weeks ago now a classmate sent me a blog post entitled,
"Having Babies (in Opposite World)" written by Courtney. The first time I read it I cried. I had been feeling so many of the things she wrote, and I am not even pregnant. I love this reminder, "
When the world says, you are too young. Remember Mary was young. When the world says, you are too old. Remember Sarah was old. When the world says, you don’t know what you are doing. Remember Eve –
who had no role models at all…she just walked with the King." Another
blog quoted in the post resonated with me. The part quoted states that, "
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do
not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not
something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." So, I have fully embraced my calling as a mother and eagerly anticipate the day when it will become a reality. No, this does not mean Guy and I are "trying." When to have a child is something we will decide as a couple, and even then, God is the author of our story and can be the only one to really know when a child will become part of our family.
I have watched this video several times. I first saw it on the blog
Baby Making written by Becky. The video is filmed by her husband featuring their twin's birth story. (No, it isn't of the actual labor.) I watch the video and dream of when it will be my turn to bring new life into the world.
Birth Story from
travispitcher on
Vimeo.
Now, I just need to remember to
daily put my plans in God's hands and trust in His perfect timing.
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