I am fresh outta ideas. Actually that's not true - I have ideas, I just don't have that extra umph to get them written down. Well, I do do that for the most part, but the real problem is that by the time I have written a post I have talked myself out of it.

So here are two excerpts from posts that you'll probably never see in their entirety...

MY SHOE THEORY (This is real and I stand by it)
I have this theory.

I love to people watch and analyze individual behaviors and overall impressions I get of people as a whole. Whenever I am around other people I am always drawn to their feet.

I think that you can tell the most about an individual by what shoes they wear and how they wear them. Shoes can easily be the most expensive part of your outfit - if you let them be. I believe they are also the easiest to distinguish between expensive versus low-cost, well made versus poorly crafted, or name brand versus generic/knock-off.

There are so many observations that I make about others shoes and in turn about those individuals.

<Insert photos of oceans and sunsets with words like "If I'd known then what I know now, I still would have done it," "Give everything and have no regrets" or "Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted">

I shake my head every time I read these. Somehow this idea that you should do whatever you please as long as it makes you happy, feels good in the moment, or is what you want has become something to strive for. I feel like this is such a childish, selfish sentiment - that you can live your life with no regrets. That you can just magically spin bad choices into cherished memories of lessons learned. To me, these ideas reek of entitlement. It gives this idea that everything is just grey area.

There are decisions I have made in my life that I most certainly would like to get back. You want to know what I have "learned" from those lovely life lessons that I should not regret, but accept?

Your actions can hurt other people.
Your actions can hurt yourself.

Very profound, deep concepts that I would not have known about had I not experienced them firsthand.

Fascinating stuff #amiright

I guess I just need to get a new pet or have a baby so I can spice things up around here.

In the mean time I'll bore you to death with mediocre iphone pictures.

^^This freaky doll stared at us for a whole church service^^

^^I got crafty^^

 ^^I got crafty part two^^

 ^^We tried our best to blend in with the 80s^^

 ^^I spun off the road in this year's first snow^^

 ^^Guy and I took a super sexy picture together^^

 ^^ Dog tracks versus human tracks^^

^^We almost adopted this adorably cute and small dog^^

The Gift That Won't Stop Giving

What comes to mind when you read that title? If it's debt then you are right on the money. ;)

Recently, Guy and I have started to do research about the best way to tackle my loans, which almost double the amount he has. Our combined debt adds up to Big Scary Numbers and we have avoided confronting them for as long as we can.

How did we manage to accumulate those Big Scary Numbers?
  • We both have earned degrees from private universities.
  • I pursued higher education (because I had to) and received a masters degree.
  • I got married while still in college so was not able to receive subsidy by way of my father who works for said private institutions. 
  • Neither of our families were in the place to assist us financially.
And you know what I'm feeling right now? - No, this is what we are feeling. Like we have dug ourselves into the deepest of holes and someone cut the rope that we were going to use to climb out. So, for the next 30 years we are going to have to use just our finger nails to make little crevices that will act as footholds in the stone that makes up the walls of our hole. The Count of Monte Cristo would understand completely.

It is disheartening. It is uncomfortable. It is discouraging. It is overwhelming. It is our reality.

All praise and glory to God that Guy has a job that he loves with a salary that is keeping us afloat. All praise and glory to God that I have started working and my hours are slowing increasing.

So, we will keep pushing forward and let you know if we find the magic formula to make it all go away - that or maybe some millionaire will read this post and take pity on us...

**Yes, I drew the above picture many years ago. Little did I know that was money I would be giving away rather than keeping.

Be Still My 80s Lovin' Heart

I am totally a fan of the 80s.

The music, the movies, the hair. If I could figure out how to get volume like that then my life would be complete.

This song to me is totally reminiscent of all the best things about 80s music. Apparently this guy is/used to be part of a band called Fun. Never heard of them or him. But I definitely play this song on repeat.

Don't visions of John Cusack holding up a boombox or skiing towards you down the scariest ski slope ever pop in your head?

Excuse me while I go watch Dirty Dancing for the 100th time.


So, I took a break from blogging. All the best bloggers do it. And usually it is unannounced, so I decided it was high time that I took a break and made y'all wonder where I was and leave comments about how concerned you are.

I feel missed/loved.

It is September. The air is crisp, the mornings are cool, the light is different. I have always loved Spring and Fall much more than I do Summer and Winter. And recently, coming from an endless summer, I am more excited than ever to have a season change. I'm giddy. I am actually looking forward to Halloween. Not because I like Halloween per-say, but because I love the festive fall things that come along with it. Plus, I just all around love the holiday season. I don't get angry at stores for putting up decorations way in advance only because that doesn't mean I have celebrate or acknowledge said holiday way before it's time. I never understand how people get their panties in a knot about how Thanksgiving is ignored by the stores/media/world. They aren't forcing you to put up your decorations early or listen to Christmas music in your car/at home. Anyways, *reigning myself in from that tangent.*

I'm back. It has been a crazy, wonderful, stressful, hard, happy summer. I passed my NBCOT boards and am currently applying for jobs. Hoping I will get a full-time job, but we are in Idaho and while there are jobs available for occupational therapists the market is nothing near what it was in California.

Here are a few pictures (some I took and some I did not) to let you know what has happened around our place this summer.

^^ Made pretzels

^^ Found the biggest leaf ever

^^ Balanced some rocks near Friendship Bridge 

^^ Visited Zoo Boise

^^ Enjoyed front row seats at a Boise Hawks game

 ^^ Visited the fair

 ^^ Enjoyed a potato icecream at the fair

 ^^ Salivated over the beautiful quilts at the fair

 ^^ My first time mountain biking

 ^^ I have been enjoying my roses all summer

 ^^ This is Boise's cityscape. View courtesy of the library's second floor

 ^^ Guy did the swimming portion of an xterra triathlon in McCall, ID

^^Another moment from the fair with a new friend
 ^^ A picture of my sexy husband because I can

^^ And a giant picture of us

Identity Crisis

I've tried to write several different posts lately, but I just haven't had it in me.

We have moved twice and are currently recreating our lives in Idaho. I finished school, but am not registered/licensed to work yet so I'm currently at a standstill. I have been experiencing what G and I both referred to at separate times as an identity crisis, which has been characterized by moodiness, sensitivity, lethargy, resentment, and deep self-doubt. I've had to come to terms with the fact that some people don't want to stay in  your life - even when the reason is not apparent. (which kind of makes it worse, because then you start to realize that maybe they just don't want to take the effort to continue to be in your life) And my childhood pet of about 13 years died recently. I am exhausted.

The joy I have displayed on the blog recently is not fake, this is just another layer I have been dealing with this year. And I think it is okay to feel and display other emotions rather than always appearing to have a jolly good time. It's just coming to terms and coping with the other emotions.

Well, I'm still in the thick of it and all of my thoughts are muddled and this post is turning out much different than I had planned in my head earlier today. But what I do know is that it has brought me full circle to my knees. I won't pretend that I have had some exuberant spiritual revival. I feel as if my relationship with God has always come softly. I've always felt His presence in a very deep and quiet way, which reflects my personality. Funny how that works.

From my morning devotions: "You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book" "... And in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge" Psalm 56:8 and Psalm 57:1

So, I promise I'll return to my regularly scheduled light/sarcastic posts about my glamorous life. But I just needed to keep it real.

It's an uphill battle, but one that I thankfully do not have to fight on my own.

And a few iphone photos from this weekend because life isn't all bad.